Random Scribbles: Mayumi's Daily Life

2004-04-18T02:43:00.000-07:00

Well, not that anyone gives a fuck, but I'm back! and I'm far from better than ever. Shit. Portland's cold. And rainy. And gloomy as a mother. And I love it. No ugly palm trees- they've even got cherry blossoms here- and no smog. My allergies are still killing me, but that's a small price to pay. I do miss LA, though. You never really know what home is until you leave. I went back there to visit Mom and we went to the Beverly Center. We'd been there countless times before and while it was always an awkward experience for me, this time, my Mom said I looked like an alien who'd just landed on earth. I looked out of it. And that's exactly how I felt. I haven't seen my family and friends in many months and it's just been Jon and I this whole time. We are seriously in need of some familiar faces around us.
As far as Portland goes, it's fun. Its new. It's a change of fucking scenery and I'm loving it. So far. I work at another place now. Administrative Clerical Bullshit, but it leaves my weekends free and I can go to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed at a reasonable cost now.
Here's a funny joke....
Why can't you get a decent blowjob in California anymore?
Give up?
Because all the cocksuckers moved to Oregon.

2003-11-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

I'm moving to Portland, Oregon to work in a new porn shop in nearby Beaverton with my boyfriend this Friday. That's right, I'm packing it in, gonna shake the dust off this dirty old town and start fresh in the city of Fugitives and Refugees, the city that brought us Bong Water, Chuck Palahniuck, and Katherine Dunne. I'll post again when I'm settled.

2003-09-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

Fuck Hollywood!
Got a ticket for drinking in public last Friday in Hollywood right before the Discharge show. What a fucking inconvenience.
Called the courthouse today and to my great relief, found that I don't have to appear in court, I canjust send a check for 110 bones that bottle Guinness set me back.
September 19th will forever glue itself onto my memory as my boyfriend's birthday, and the day I popped my misdemeanor cherry.
In any case, once the goddamn ticket's paid off, my "record" will be wiped clean. Fuck bitches in blue and fuck Hollywood. Of all the crackheads and slammers cruising down the Blvd., the pigs had to harrass a harmless young lush who hadn't even gotten a proper buzz on yet.
But I tell ya, that night, I had the angriest sex which made the whole ordeal worthwhile.

2003-09-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

The Divine Ms. M, a friend I've known since high school days is worried she may be "up the stick" and is afraid to get herself a pregnancy test. Shit, I would be, too. So anyway, she's been drinking heavily, playing soccer real hard, smoking dope, basically anything to kill whatever it is (or isn't) inside her.
My advice to her was to get the damn test and find out before she not only kills whatever is growing (or not) in her belly, but also herself. This girl's got her share of troubles, so I don't push. Truth be told, I keep telling myself, "better her than me."
I have made an appointment at the female clinic to get the Depo shot. I was thinking pills, but this way, I don't have to worry about remembering to take it.
Responsible sex. What the fuck is that, anyway? Is it putting on a rubber? Is it doing it with someone you think you love? Is it something more than that? I've only been sexually active for the past since month and a half. Before that, I was a prude- ashamed of my body, ashamed of my sexuality, ashamed and embarrassed of exposing myself to anyone else.
I suppose this post makes me sound like a hussy, but I know who I am, and I say a digital "fuck you" to anyone dumb enough to honestly believe that the sum total of a human being can be found in the contents of a weblog.
I hope my friend will be okay. If not, better her than me.

2003-09-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I've got a roll of film I need to get developed this week. Before His birthday, I need those photos developed. There is one problem, though; a fly in the ointment.
Inside said roll of film, there are tastefully erotic photos of your's truly in a swank hotel room in West LA. I am not ashamed of this, nor am I ashamed of anything else I did that night, over and over and over and over and over again. What I don't particularly need is some pimple-faced photo guy handing me the just-developed roll of film with a smirk on his face and a wood in his pants.
But I absolutely need one of the photos in that roll. Last week, He and I went down to the Beverly Hills Library and had the opportunity (after waiting for hours) to meet and have our books signed by Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club, Lullaby, Choke, Survivor, et. al) and I want that photo from the book signing. It's part of my overall birthday gift to Him.
I also got him 'A Million Little Pieces," by James Frey, and 'Less than Zero,' by Bret Easton Ellis.

2003-09-12T17:02:00.000-07:00

I abhor bitchiness, I absolutely hate it- especially when it is directed at other women. I hate the fact that there are dumb broads out there who think that they are respectable because they're prudes. I hate that these dumb broads look down upon women who are not afraid of their sexuality.
If they'd get the vibrator out of their twats for a minute and stop being so uptight about shit, maybe they'd understand that sex is (can be, if properly done) fun for women, too. It's a two way street and lots of times, a girl thinks sex sucks because she's uptight about a)making lots of noise, b)letting someone see her naked, or c)porking in a different position. There's a real simple solution to all this. Forget missionary. It's lame. It's tame. It doesn't get the job done.

2003-09-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

I am Tender Branson.
Take the "Which Chuck character am I? Quiz"

2003-09-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

i get wet sitting next to him. it's insane, really. He doesn't know this, and god, he never can. should this information somehow pass into his hands it could open up a pandora's box of public indecency and sick, secret sex. what the hell, it might be fun. no, it WOULD be fun.

2003-09-09T11:04:00.000-07:00

I felt the urge to type a thing or two before I jet off to school. Today should be a good one. I"ll be off to see Pallanhuik with Mr. Sex around five-ish. I can't wait to see either of them. The camera will be coming along.
On a completely unrelated note, I was thinking about people who don't make noise during sex and how utterly annoying it is. It adds a lot of spice, a good huff-and-puff does. Not to mention talking dirty and I especially love having my hair pulled back while in a particular position.

2003-09-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

Mmmmm....sweet nothing. This weekend was great. Drank. Fucked. Drank some more, then went to an art show in support of the West Memphis Three and heard a rousing speech by Jello Biafra. The man's got pipes. Everyone's favorite pilferer of designer goods, Miss Winona Ryder was also in attendance; actually, she was the MC of the evening. All in all, it was a good few days.
Sunday, we went to the Hustler store and my guy bought me a t-shirt that said: Vagina, the box a penis comes in. I thought it was really cute. We went in search of some crotchless panties, and almost bought a pair, but my funds were low and I am not comfortable with someone else paying for my shit.
Tuesday, Chuck Pallanhuik (I think that's the spelling) is doing a reading or a book signing somewhere in LA and I've got date for that.
The guy met my mom for the first time Sunday. I think it's getting good.
Yeah, I've read through the last few posts and have found that the bulk of them pertain mostly to my burgeoning love-life. We'll have to fix that, somehow.

2003-09-05T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm not dead, I've just been getting laid on a regular basis. Tonight, I get laid again. Tomorrow, I go with my paramour to listen to Jello Biafra and Henry Rollins. See you all when I come up for air.

2003-08-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

I had a really great weekend. I must remember to answer all my e-mails and junk. But first, allow me to elaborate on the weekend in question. It involved some serious getting of the fucked-up variety. Booze flowed like water down the Niagara Falls and boy, did I fall for a gent by the name of K___. He is the aforementioned fellow whom accompanied me on the date.
I learned something Friday night, and later Saturday evening. I like it rough. Pants down, shirt on, socks off, rough. In a strange parallel to my weekend activities, my neighbor, A___ made some noise of her own last night. I heard her through my bedroom window, ever the audio-voyeur. Man, can that girl moan. I didn’t hear a male in the throws of passion, though, but I figure the convex specimen’s probably one of those macho guys who can’t allow himself to scream to high-heaven when he’s feeling the rhythm. Lord, have mercy. Sex is truly a thing of wonder. Hallelujah.

2003-08-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

So the east coast is in quite a mess right now. No ac/dc and all that. I hear they're blaming Canada (who else?). This sort of thing always happens in the summer. I think people are making a fuss over nothing, but I'm not the one who has to walk home across the Brooklyn Bridge in the seering heat of August in the midst of a blazing New York Summer, so I guess I'll shut my mouth.
But seriously, is this how it's going to be? Anytime anything remotely off kilter occurs in New York, people will automatically assume it's a terrorist attack of some odd sort.
The lights are out - those terrorists must be at it again! or It's unseasonably hot this year - Damn! We've been "terrorized!"

One of my friends works as a clerk at the N___k City Hall. She saw Ahhhhnold and took a picture of him last week when he went to turn in his paperwork to run for public office. She said he wore a shitload of make-up.

fin.

2003-08-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

Went on a date last night. I think it's safe to say that it went well. However, I did wake up alone this morning, so it is also safe to say that it did not go exceptionally well. The guy is someone I've known for a while. He's a funny chap; makes me laugh and isn't hard to look at, either. That's the important thing, really. Yep, I'm shallow like that.
But on a serious note, the date was headed towards shitsville early on. He suggested we go see Gigli and I nearly spit my coffee in his face. It was touch and go for a while there, but apparently, the guy was only joshing.
I still haven't had the time to fully process the evening, though not much happened anyway.

2003-08-03T13:12:00.000-07:00

Here's another exercise in word association from this site.

Hook:: meat locker
Greg:: www.greggman.com
Sixty:: red and white
Breakfast:: yellow
Dollar:: bacteria
Unpredictable: future
O:: scream
Bathing suit:: carnival
Inconsiderate:: rude
Marx:: Groucho

2003-08-02T13:57:00.000-07:00

1. What song (new or old) do you secretly enjoy, but publicly ridicule? Why?
Justin Timberlake, "Rock Your Body" because I refuse to admit the song is catchy...but it is.

2. Do you carry a purse or tote bag or backpack? If so, what's inside?
I carry a backpack to school with my books and binders and things inside. For general "going-out" purposes, I carry a Dickies shoulder bag. Inside are my wallet, keys, change purse (yes, I have a change purse), pressed powder, little blue organizer, cell phone, cigarettes, and a lighter. Sometimes, there is also gum.

3. Describe your dream job. Why did you select this one?
Something to do with the publishing world. I'd love to be a fact-checker or copy-editor because I'm bland like that and I love stability in my work. I like to fact-check, research and correct mistakes. I have an eye for catching other people's errors.

4. You are given an opportunity to live anywhere in the world, expense free, but you can never move again. Where do you live? Why?
I don't like this question. I'm torn between New York and Tokyo.

5. What do you like about living in your particular city? Would you recommend it to others as a good place to live and work? Why?
It's close to everything and it's very warm. A real nice college town atmosphere with lots of shops and cafes around. Some of the best restaurants can be found here, in my humble opinion.
I'd recomment it to people who like warm weather and LA in general; people with cars and a family, or college students, I guess. It's a big city.

2003-08-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Recipe for sweet potato cheesecake

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs sweet potatoes (mashed)
2 pks cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup heavey cream
3 eggs
1/4 cup butter

and a graham cracker crust.

1) beat until smooth the sweet potatoes, cream cheese, sugar, and heavy cream.
2) beat in the eggs one at a time, blending well after each.
3) Pour into spring-form pan with prepared crust and bake at 350 degrees farenheit for 55 minutes to 1 hour.
****Note****Let it sit in the oven for an hour with the door ajar after it is cooked. After that, you let it cool for 4 hours at the very least. But you should refrigerate it overnight for maximum goodness. And whatever you do, don't over cook the darn thing. It'll probably be kinda jiggly in the middle and that's okay. It'll set while it's cooling.

****2nd Note****Don't blame me if you don't like it. I never claimed to be Martha Stewart.

2003-08-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

The following takes place between 9:25a.m. and 10:00a.m. The proceeding has not been subject to grammatical editing.

Friend: I want a digital camera but I don't got no bread.

Me: We're in a recession.

Friend: No shit. But that fat dude on PBS said the recession's over. The worst is past. The dishes are done, you know?

Me: No. We're in a recession. Take my word for it. We're in a recession. Fat Dude on PBS doesn't know shit. We're in a fuckin' recession.

Friend: I don't know, man...All I know is, I'm broke.

Me: That's on account of the recession. There is a recession and I'll tell you what, we're in it. When motherfucking Denny's isn't hiring, that means we're in a recession.

Friend: yeah...but I want that digital camera....

It sucks being unemployed. Looking for a job in today's economic climate is akin to shoving your head up an elephant's ass.

2003-07-31T18:58:00.000-07:00

If you're going to buy hair removal cream, go with Nair. I've tried waxes and they hurt. Shaving is a waste of time if you ask me, and that spray-on mousse shit- what's it called? Veet? Outta be called Shit. It runs down your leg and leaves bright yellow stains on your carpet. There is also the horrid chemical smell.
Hair removal's a bitch any way you slice it, though. Guys don't have to worry about it unless they are involved in aquatic sports or model or something. Us Girls, we've got it tough. On the one hand, it's nice to be smooth, aerodynamic. On the other hand, getting there sucks balls.
That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

2003-07-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
Waiting for Something

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
music from the White Stripes, some mellow shit from Bright Eyes for the long and boring sequences, Radiohead circa OK Computer for the periods of isolation, etc...

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
live action because my life is too boring to animate.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Christina Ricci or Thora Birch would be lovely (though I do not flatter myself), Angelica Houston (circa the Adams Family) as my mom. If you knew my mom, you'd understand.
Paul Sorvino as my absentee father, and Keanu Reeves as my older brother.
Vincent D'Onofrio could play my lover. I don't have one in real life, but it would add pizazz to the movie.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
Holy shit. There wouldn't be a trailer. If there was, I'd have Wes Anderson create it. He'd direct the film, too.

2003-07-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Driving. I hate it with a passion so great it could melt the icy core of Pluto. I drove down to the local video rental place to return some dvds. Not even 10 fucking minutes. Some fat-ass, mullet-militia, sweat-stains-on-his-wife-beater shithead decides he can't get to his next NRA meeting fast enough and proceeds to tailgate me. I hate tailgaters. I them with a passion so great...you get the idea. What made this incident more interesting than others like it was that we actually exchanged words. He flipped me the bird when he pulled up beside me at the red light and I reciprocated the gesture, adding: "Suck a fat one, cunt." I have no idea what I meant by that, but it seemed to piss him off. Not knowing how long the light would stay red, and having the adrenaline slowly replace itself with fear of being attacked by some enraged motorist, I was more than a little relieved when he just called me a bitch and looked away, nostrils flaring. I did the same.
Driving really changes people. You go from being mild-mannered, or whatever to some mercenary, vigilante, Charles Bronson-like maniac out for blood. Every other driver becomes the South American drug-lord responsible for killing your family. It's insane. What ever happened to Charles Bronson, anyway? I miss that fuck.

2003-07-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

In case I forget this, the strangest thing happened a week ago. I was watching a japanese variety tv show and this japanese pop singer was being interviewed. Her name is Ai. Just Ai. I went to the LA Arts high school with that girl! I was floored to see her cheerful face on japanese television. The variety show she was on is kind of like TRL I guess. I remember she was in the dance department. Life is funny.

2003-07-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

when last i wrote in you, gregory peck had passed away and radiohead's album, 'hail to the thief' had been released.
several moons have passed since then. i've been away, galavanting around the med on my mommy's dime, you know how us spoiled leeches do. i must admit being a penny-pinching backpacker is more of an interesting way to see europe, but it doesn't hurt to get a free ride.
so my vacation is over, but this winter, i'm going to Tokyo. Once again, I'm not paying. My grandmother wants to see her beloved little parasite for the holidays. It's a good thing I'll probably get 3 weeks vacation between semesters.
Oooh, I can't rave enough about cheese right now. It's to die for! My favorite has officially changed from Mozzarella to Bree(forgive the spelling error).

2003-06-12T16:32:00.000-07:00

Gregory Peck is dead and Radiohead's album came out this week.

2003-06-10T15:33:00.000-07:00

everyone I know has tried at some point to give me an "americanized" nickname. I have always refused because first of all, I hate the sound of the name May. It sounds so boring, so mid-western farm girl. But mostly, it's because my name is my name and it is something my mother and grandmother gave me. It's a direct link to my family and background and without it, people probably wouldn't think twice about me. I am by no means a memorable looking person. I am just another olive-skinned brunette with big brown eyes, but once people hear my name, I become something else. I become someone with an "interesting background."
At my University, there are many foreign students. My math tutor (yes, I sucked at math) from my freshman year was from the Czech Republic. His name was very hard to pronounce but started with the letter A. In his country, he was called Andre for short or something. At least that's what he said I should call him so I did. He hated being called Andy, which is what he was eventually called by all my other fellow math-tards and it drove him nuts. That might have been the main reason they all did it because it was funny to watch his ears turn red with anger, but it was still pretty rude.
My mother's name is Kimiko, if anyone asks her if they can call her Kim, she says no. It's not her name. Of course many immigrants purposely change their names to assimilate themselves into what they think is American society, and that's their prerogative, but I believe that a big part, if not the most beautiful and endearing part of American culture is it's ethnic/cultural diversity. I would write more, but I'm watching the clock and it's about time for me to dash.

2003-06-09T16:43:00.000-07:00

1. In my work Outlook inbox, I have 343 unread email messages. Most of them are newsletters I've subscribed to but not had time to read. It is a bit
intimidating at this point, and I am tempted to delete them all and start fresh. But I am that way in many things, relationships, art projects, and more. Have you even just totally trashed something you were working on because it wasn't going the way you wanted? What happened? Did you start over again? Was it
better?
I am constantly crumpling up school term papers. I seem to have a hard time starting essays and research papers, but once I get my thesis and first few paragraphs done, I tend to not destroy it because it would be such a waste.

2. My friend was contacted out of the blue by someone from High School at his work e-mail. He wondered how someone found him and I told him to try putting his own name in Google.com to see what happens. Have you ever contacted an old friend out of the blue over the internet? How did it go? Have any old friends or lovers ever contacted you? Did it flatter you or freak you out?
No. I don't have any contact with my old friends from high school. We have all grown so apart from eachother. I think I'm the only one who hasn't had a child or gotten married. We really have nothing in common anymore.

3. I am the forgetful type. I need lists. I need notes. Oddly, I've found if I write something down to remember it, the mere act of writing makes me remember it and I seldom ever refer back to the paper again. What is the most important thing that you have ever forgotten? Did it have any negative results? How did it all turn out?
I forgot where I left my passport. I ended up getting a new one.

4. In America, we are currently suffering through an overdose of "reality" programs on television. Survivor, Fear Factor, The Amazing Race, Big Brother, The Bachelor and so on. Which of the "reality" television programs do you think you would have a chance at winning? Why? Would you ever actually consider signing up for one? Have you?
None. I can't live in a house full of strangers and cameras. How do these people do it? I wouldn't feel comfortable enough to even use the bathroom. I would never even consider it.

5. Do you allow commenting on your blog? Why? Have you ever considered removing/adding that function? What was one of the worst situations you've found yourself in due to blog comments?
No, it's my blog, not a message board. If people want to contact me, they can e-mail me. I also don't want the hassle of some annoying posts. I figure if people are really that interested in my boring life, they can e-mail me or sign my guestbook.

6. Have you found any cool shareware/freeware applications/scripts/tools recently? Yeah? Tell me more!
nope.

7. I've mentioned it here before, but one of my favorite terms I've heard a Minster use was when he refereed to a "pet sin." Which is when you live your life right for the most part, but you have this one secret thing, this one bad thing that you do that is wrong for you to do, that you won't give up, even though you know you should (and sometime criticize others for doing). Now I am not asking to know what it is, but do you have a "pet sin?" When did it start? Are you trying to give it up, or are you just reconciled to the fact that you will always have it? Would anyone think less of you if they knew about it?
It's nothing serious, nothing that could cause me to face legal prosecution.

2003-06-07T14:29:00.000-07:00

There was a sale at the seven eleven on 24 oz cans of some beer I've never heard of. It's called Black Star. It tastes horrible, but it was cheap and I was there getting donuts and a hotdog anyway, so I figured, why not? I'm here, there's beer, get over it.
Later today, I'm going furniture shopping again with Mama. We're buying a sofa this time. We opted not to go to Ikea because the sofas there look cheap. I like the straight lines and color variations and all, but there's a sterile, uncomfortable quality to all the furniture there. I feel like I'm at the Met or something. We're thinking of a nice italian leather sofa, the kind you see surrounded by mahogany tables and bookcases. That's what we're going for. I love interior decorating, but it's a real bitch moving things around and clearing space.
I'm not much of a drinker, this beer is labeled "light" and it's giving me quite a buzz. there is a 5.9% alcohol content in this beverage. I have no idea if that is a lot or a little in terms of how it rates compared to other beers. The can's design makes it look serious. Like, this beer means business. You drink it. You get fucked up. No ifs ands or buts about it. Good thing I only got one.

2003-06-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

An article on CNN about Japanese "Freeters."

2003-06-04T13:32:00.000-07:00

back at work researching the net for Hot Sandwich places in the LA area. Hot sandwiches are the ultimate food. If you've never had one, you haven't lived I tell you! My favorite is the hot brown. the Ruben's not bad at all either, but I love the hot brown. There was a series on PBS, each episode featured a different "American" food and travelled around the country looking for each city's delicacy. They did one on sandwiches, one on hotdogs, that's all I've seen so far. I had to go clear across several states until I stumbled upon a place that made hot browns. Not that I went on a cross country road-trip looking for hot browns, it just sort of found me a few years back on a family trip.
The hot brown is an open-faced sandwich that looks like a gratin. The bottom is a slice of bread, over that is hot meat, on top of that is cheese and this wonderfully creamy sauce, they bake it in an oven and voila!
I have to get back to research now.

2003-06-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

Internship Day 2: Mission Complete. Mark down as success.
Did random legwork and drank coffee. Surfed the net and learned some nifty html tricks in my down time. Read the paper. Read memos. read faxes. felt grown up. thought mom would be proud if she could see me. not that she's dead or anything, she just wasn't physically there to see me at work.
I joined the LA Blogs ring.
When I got home today, The Animatrix was on the diningroom table. I haven't popped it in the DVD player yet, but I will tonight. Right now I'm going to relax.

2003-06-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

Internship Day 1: Mission Complete. Mark down as success.
The day started early and was filled with orientations, guided tours, and handshakes.
I actually learned something at the office today, though it is a little tidbit that is in no way related to journalism. A study showed that MARLBORO cigarettes from foreign countries contain a higher amount of cancer causing toxins. So Marlboro smokers outside the US beware. The Marlboro Man or Phillip Morris says that it is because cigarettes are manufactured differently outside the US. If that is so, I imagine higher levels of carcinogens can be found in all cigarette brands manufactured outside the US. Not that American cigarettes are healthy or better for you or anything, it was just some article I read in the paper today.

2003-06-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I begin my first paying internship. I was so excited, I went shopping for clean socks. I only ever wear sneakers on account of my not being the type who has cause to dress up, so I went out and bought a pack of "dress socks." They are of the variety that do not have a terry cloth-like inner lining and do not have stitching that reads "HANES." They are of a thin, lycra-some other material-blend and they come in a pack of 3. One black, one gray, and one navey. I figure that ought to tide me over until I get another pack.

2003-05-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

I went to do some shopping earlier in the day by myself at the local galleria type shopping mall. It was an excuse to take my "new-used" car out for a spin. It was pretty nerve-racking. I am still not used to driving sans nagging mom in the passenger seat. I was on my way to catch a film at the United Artists theater inside the mall when a fight between two asian youths broke out next to a water fountain. It was pretty wild. A kid who was maybe 10-12 in age got knocked down in all the hubbub and his mother went frantic, I am pretty sure a racial slur was uttered. The ruckus only lasted a few seconds, though, as many fights do, it fizzled out quickly when security showed up. I figured that was enough excitement for me and the movie was not necessary, so took my shopping bags and Orange Julius and high-tailed it home. I picked up anice red and white striped dress for summer, though I know I will probably never wear it. It breaks one of my personal style rules. It has no sleeves and I NEVER go without sleeves. I'll probably just throw a sweater on over it or something.

2003-05-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

1. What's the worst thing about Mondays?
-getting up early, sometimes.
2. Do you believe in soul mates? Have you met yours yet?
-I'd like to, but it all seems pretty far-fetched. I'm sure anyone could fool themselves into believing they could stay with one person for the rest of their lives, that is until the novelty wears off and they begin to tire of Mr. or Ms. Right and someone better, newer, fresher, comes along.
3. What do you recall wanting to "be" when you were a child, dreams of what you'd do when you were an adult for work - who you'd live with... where you'd live... how many kids you'd have. How does the dreams you once had compare to your reality, same, much different? You have surpassed those dreams?
-I wanted to be Punky Brewster for a while. Then I wanted to be a teacher, than a writer, then an artist. I pretty much still want the same things. I want to be Punky Brewster, a writer, a teacher, an artist of some kind. I just want to be gainfully employed after college, man. That's all I want.
4. What do you think of education in your town/city? In your country? How would you improve it?
-Oh, California public education is pretty good, but I've got some gripes, man. The tuition is being raised and so are other fees, and all, but it's still good, I'd say. I don't know about primary and secondary schools, though. The High school I went to was an arts school, so it was fun, but I don't know about the rest of california's schools.
5. If you had to pick three songs to sum up your life what would they be and why?
-Wow. I have no idea.
6. Do you believe in love at first sight? Can it really happen?
-No.
7. What's your greatest fear?
-Never being independent. Never getting out of the comfort of life with Mom.

2003-05-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

a fifteen year old tried to chat me up at a party last night. I went to a friend's get-together after finals and his kid brother tried to chat me up. A zygote thought he had a shot. he was a funny little thing, i called him little romeo the entire night. a white little romeo, not "cool" enough for the "lil' " but little. i think that annoyed him. he thought he was cooler than that. he was really wrong. still, the kid was good for a laugh, and he ran around and got me drinks, made himself useful so i humored him. Why do I always seem to attract jailbait? While we're on the subject of age, I will be turning 22 in a little over a month. i think i mentioned befor that i am attracted to older frenchmen. well, that's expanded to older englishmen now, too. but i could only ever admire from afar. I really don't have the guts to act out my sexual fantasies. god, what a prude i am.

2003-05-20T16:59:00.000-07:00

For the last several months, I've been using Pond's Double White lotion from Japan. I guess it really works. My skin tone is more even and I can wear my mom's foundation without looking like I'm wearing a ridiculous dracula mask.
The cream is a day cream with spf and whitening stuff and a night whitening cream. I use it on and off maybe every other day and I find that it is delicate enough for my skin, I don't get breakouts, but when I wake up in the morning, my sking looks more even toned.
My mom got it for me when she was in Japan because I had asked her to bring me some. It's hard to find skin lighteners here, but in Japan, it's very popular for people, especially after summer, when everyone wants to even out their tans.
I don't mind my olive complexion, but I do mind skind damage from the sun and uneven skin tone. It's not vitiligo or anything, it's mostly freckles. My mom gets them and I've inherited them from her. I get them when I'm in the sun for too long without sunblock and while they're too faint in color for anyone else to notice, I do and I hate them.
Next time I'm in Japan, I'm buying the Clinique whitener to see how it works. Mind, the lighteners don't really whiten skin, they just block the melanin from producing more and basically allow you to keep the skin tone you naturally have, so it's not like the more you use the stuff, the paler you get. Sorry goth people.

2003-05-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

today's monday mission:

1. This seems to be the year for movie sequels (Terminator 3, Matrix Reloaded, 2 Fast 2 Furious, LOTR: The Return of the King, etc.). Is there a movie you would like to see Hollywood make a sequel to?

I can't think of one. I think apart from blockbuster action flicks, people shouldn't make seguels.

2. What movie sequel do you think should never have been made?

where do I begin...I think the new star wars prequels suck. The star trek movies all strike me as the same. Oh, and the world could do without the next Fast and Furious movie.

3. Are there any books (comic, novel, etc.) that you would like to see made into a movie? Who should star in it?

Tom Wolfe's, "A Man in Full" would be a really great film. I have no idea what actors would do justice to such larger than life characters, but I'm sure they could figure that out.

4. When was the last time the you got a shot at the Doctor's office? Do you prefer them in the arm or your backside? Or would you rather just take a prescription?
I gave blood a while back. I guess that doesn't count though. The last time I got a shot from a doctor was years ago, when I got innoculations.

5. Do you make friends easier in "Real Life" or online or is it about the same? Do you have closer friendships in "Real Life" or online? Why do you think that is? Are you ok with that or would you like to make a change?

It's hard either way. I'm not so comfortable with e-mails and I definitely don't do chats and message boards. I mostly use the net as a tool for some research and blogging and keeping a site.. I don't have any friends on the net, really. I have some e-mail friends from different countries. I have met 3 of them while on vacation to Europe and Japan, other than that, I keep to myself. I'd definitely say that my real life friends are closer to me, though I also keep many of them at arms length.

6. When you first got your drivers license how did you feel ? Did you get it on the first try, second, third, more than that ? Do you have a license ? If no, do you plan to get one ? Why or why not ?

I got it on my first try, but I am still scared to drive alone. I hate driving and am one of those people who rely more on public transportation. I don't want a car, never wanted one, but it is a necessity where I live, so I try to drive the best I can and stay on the right lane.

7. Have you ever had your tonsils removed? Did you ever come close? Tell me about that.

no.

2003-05-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

An exercise in word association from this site:

Naked:: skin
Singular:: one
Particle:: atom
Unified:: globe
Lion:: growl
Capitulate:: lose
Quantum:: Quantus Airlines
Celestial:: divine
Motion:: Buster Keaton
Delight:: ice-cream sundae

2003-05-16T11:45:00.000-07:00

I saw the Matrix last night. Of course it was awesome, especially towards the end. Some people were leaving right when the ending credits rolled, but we stayed put because we heard from a source that there would be a surprise at the end of the tunnel and there really was. Yeah, if you sit through the crappy new metal and endless list of grips and makeup artists, you get to see the preview of the Matrix Revolutions.
I always get emotional during the coming attractions part of the movies. The previews for the upcoming films for this summer are all really gargantuan in terms of scale and box-office earning potential. The Last Samurai almost made me cry. I guess it's a japanese thing. I don't know, it isn't often that the japanese are portrayed as warriors or people with strength and honor and stuff, at least not in american cinema.
Tom Cruise looks good with long hair. The female lead looks oddly like Penelope Cruz, but asian.
T3 looks explosive, but I must say I would have liked to see Edward Furlong back as John Connor.
Oh, and it looks like I start my internship June 2nd.

2003-05-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

So they showed a preview of The Last Samurai, Tom Cruise's new flick. I wonder if they're using real Japanese actors. Not that I have a problem with non-japanese asians playing japanese roles, but I've noticed in the past that Hollywood makes a lot of casting mistakes with asian roles. They cast people in japanese roles who say lines in japanese and they can't speak the language. This may not be noticable to other people, but it's so obvious if you are japanese or know the language. It's also very insulting to say that all asians look the same, so who cares about authenticity in casting the roles.
The good news is I think the lead actress in "Samurai" is a japanese actress, I forget her name. And I recognized another japanese actor in the preview. I don't know his name either, but he starred in the original japanese version of The Ring, or Ringu.

2003-05-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

Things are sort of looking up. I got a call back from the local newspaper after applying for an internship a few months back, when I was still optimistic about things. I actually applied again a couple days ago, thinking my first application got lost in the heaps. Things like this don't usually happen to me. Not since elementary school has anything extraordinary happened to me academically. It all started going down hill for me in 5th grade thanks to that cunt Mrs. Peterson...Damn that bitch... Anyway, I have secured an interview for Monday. Fingers and toes are crossed.

2003-05-06T13:16:00.000-07:00

Do you ever get the feeling that you're not where you're supposed to be? I feel like I ought to be doing more than just going to school full-time. Holy shit, there are so many college students who also hold jobs and some even have families and here I am, an amoeba-brained sloth who only goes to school. Everyone in my family works and has fulfilling careers. My brother, Mr. Fabulous, is a programmer and Mom is just so proud, but she always has been proud of him, he's Mr. Fabulous after all. I can't even bring myself to openly hate the guy, because he's just so darn likeable and generous. He's the best brother in the world and also the worst because being the best often means that the other sibling ends up being the disappointment.
Being a journalism major means you have to be a real go-getter. It means lots of internships, networking, and getting your foot in many doors. It means you have to contend with people who think journalism schooling is a crock of shit and it means working from the ground up, like any other profession, I suppose. But it's the lot I chose in life and I'm sticking to it.
This summer, I've decided to get my resume (very short) and cover letters together and start applying for internships, I've already faxed and e-mailed to some local publications.
More and more, I'm wanting to get into the world of publishing and magazines, move away from newspapers and reporting. It seemed glam and fab before, being on a beat, but it's not, really. You know what job sounds like loads of fun? Being an archivist! Yes, I am a boring person.

2003-05-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

I can't decide whether to get a job this summer or travel. This sucks, my responsible self is fighting for space in my body, which up to this point has been ruled pretty much by my irresponsible self. It's a battle of the wills, really. I feel my right brain winning out. It must be, because I'm putting in applications left and right. My friend even got me an interview at a female clinic. I don't know if I want to work there because there are always pro-life picketers across the street. I don't even think the place performs abortions, but somehow, some poeple got it in their heads that they do and now women are afraid to go to their neighborhood female clinic for prenatal care and pregnancy tests.
So, at any rate, I don't think I'm headed to Japan after all this summer. I guess I'll just wait until winter break.

2003-05-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

A chill wind blows over the economy when a person can't land a minimum wage part-time job. I need work! I need a meager source of petty cash, income, anything to get me preoccupied! I don't know...I feel useless unless I am making money.

2003-05-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

I need a job for spending cash when I go to Japan. My gran always gives me money and that's great and all, but I'm at an age now where I should at least put in a little effort to pay some of my own expenses like clothing, gifts for people (mostly for myself), etc...
We got a postcard from Mom's boyfriend Joe. He's the drummer for bluesman Walter Trout's band and they are on tour in Europe right now. The postcard was from Berlin. He also sent us one from Vancouver, London, all sorts of places. Must be nice to be in a band. I think Joe's the only one in the band who isn't a recovering drug addict or alcoholic. They're all apparently really calm now. Married with families. Slowed down. I guess that's what happens to everyone, eventually.

So back to me...I used to sell term papers to friends and classmates at 20 to 100 bucks a pop, depending on the importance of the grade. I stopped that a while back because it got too risky. The money was good, but all my free time went to my "business" and sitting in front of the computer, typing up 8-10 page papers wasn't worth the money. But I met a lot of people. Mostly through other people, satisfied customers and all.It wasn't really a steady thing. The busiest I'd get was during mid-terms or end of semesters and that was still only about 4 papers. The most I've ever gotten was 100 bucks and that was when I threatened not to do it and the person almost started crying so I said I'd do it for 100 bucks and he said "wait here" and he went to the ATM and brought me 100 bucks. But that was a fluke.
Nowadays, you can get papers for free on the net. I feel like an ancient craftsman; trying to uphold tradition in the face of new technology, dying out and becoming obsolete.

2003-04-26T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've deleted my site. I am so grateful to all the wonderful guys and dolls who have visited and signed the gb and sent all their e-mails and encouraging comments, but I haven't exactly been the world's best webster. I update irregularly and the info I provide is very limited. I just feel that more useful, more aesthetic sites on current japanese culture can be found elsewhere. Yuki's page is a great example of that. Besides, I only go back to japan once a year, so my photos can't be updated so often. I'll keep this blog going for personal reasons, but right now, I'm concentrating on writing. I have another site where I am updating more frequently, it can be found here. There's a serial novel that I update every week, rain or shine.For real! It would be great if you all would come and visit, hopefully, I'd like to get some feedback from foreign nationals living, studying, or working in Japan because the serial novel is about "expatriate" life in the Tokyo area. Anyway, it's been real cool and thanks. Sniff...

2003-04-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

1. What was the last TV show you watched?
I watched 'I Love Lucy' this morning.

2. What was the last thing you complained about?
Being hungry.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
A girl in my newswriting class said to her friend beside her about my work, "she's good," and I took that as a compliment. I couldn't really tell her "thanks," because then it would seem as if I were eavesdropping, which I was.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?
a used snot-rag

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
Yahoo mail, to check my e-mail. I got the Friday Five message and here I am.

2003-04-22T14:02:00.000-07:00

1. Yummier: Chocolate ice cream or strawberry cheesecake?
strawberry cheesecake.

2. Better to watch on TV: Movies or sports?
movies

3. A better web browser: MSIE or Netscape (or tell us your own favorite!)
I guess MSIE, I've never used Netscape.

4. A better way to travel: Automobile or bus/train?
Automobile gives you more freedom to stop and roam as you please, but there's something I just love about trains and train station in general. Especially European train travel. I'd go with automobile though. It's definitely more comfortable.

5. Your preferred camera: Digital or film?
I would love a digital cam, but I don't have one, yet. If I had one, I'd prefer it over film.

6. A Cooler Vehicle: Motorcycle or sports car?
Motorcycle

7. More fun: Video games or board games?
board games

8. Sexier: A perfect body or an intelligent mind?
a good combination of both

9. A stinkier smell: Skunk or gasoline (petrol)?
skunk. I quite like the smell of petrol.

10. Thought-provoking question of the week: What is more important to you: making a ton of money and being at the top of your field, or finding your soulmate and living a comfortable but not wealthy life?
Making a ton of money and being at the top of my field. After that, I can concentrate on the soul mate shit.

2003-04-20T13:18:00.000-07:00

No matter what that giant Jack-in-the-Crackhead tells you, the new Jack-in-the-box fish and chips are not top of the hat, dijery-do, or yummy. And Bob ain't your uncle. They suck.

2003-04-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

I have three different online blogs. One is really private (but public), where I don['t divulge my name or anything. The second blog is this one, my bigger, general blog. ANd my newest blog is called the Writer's Blog. It's the blog I have on my other purely writing site that basically cronicles the progress of all my work in writing. I'm not sure I want to give out the name of the site (I'm sure it's easy enough to find), on account of my writing sucks and I'm a little embarrassed, but the blog is on blogspot. it's called writer's blog. Here are some more clues for anyone who's interested in doing a little detective work, the text site's name is the direct translation of my japanese last name in french.
Mitsuhashi= (french translation)
Mitsuhashi= Three Bridges

2003-04-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

I don't normally read comic books or manga for that matter. I find the whole "otaku" culture a bit strange, actually. But I came across this one japanese comic book called BLAME! It reminds me of the Matrix, only way more twisted. From what I can read (my japanese reading skills are not as good as my speaking ability), it's another one of those cyber-sci-fi stories that are so prevalent in japanese manga. I personally like the attention to detail in the drawings.
It's funny how I got my hands on the book, I've seen it before in Japan, on my cousin's desk and didn't think twice about it, only noticed that the cover art looked violent, like many japanese comics, then, a few weeks ago, my brother brought back a copy of the comic from work(it was given him by one of his colleagues). I "borrowed" it last night.
I'm stuck in rut and I need a little motivation.

2003-04-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

So I'm on Spring Break and so far, it's okay. I went to Vegas, which on the whole hasn't changed much- I mean it's still the sleaze capital of the nation and Circus Circus still smells of cheese and popcorn. There are still children running amok and streets are still littered with men in bright yellow t-shirts that read "strippers: 1-800-blah-blah-blah" passing out nudie flyers.The casinos are newer, but the tuxedoed men and women at the helm still have that bored-as-hell look on their faces that tells you just how desperately they need to get out and live in a real city. Not one built for tourism. And oh, boy do they hate tourists! You can practically smell it on their tabaccoed breath when they ask if you'd like smoking or non-smoking. It must suck to have to contend with all the tourists who run the gamut in terms of social standing. Of course there are the slot-whore elderly who make the trip to sin-city every weekend and are practically pros when it comes to the slots, and there's the families with crying babies and bored teens- they're always fun. Then there's the groups of rowdy youths, out for nothing more than a wild couple of nights on the strip. Yep, I'll bet they've seen it all, those Vegas employees.
I would get into the "buffet" experience I had if time permitted, but it does not, so I must save that post for another day. Phew!

2003-04-10T15:19:00.000-07:00

1. What animated TV show or movie past or present do you totally love above all the rest. Why do you think that is?

Animated show= King of the Hill (The Simpsons is losing it's touch, I sorry to say) Movie= Taxi Driver and What's Eating Gilbert Grape

2. There are some animated shows that are such a dumb idea that I can't believe that people actually watch them or that studio executives actually put down money for these monstrosities. What animated TV shows really makes you want to change the channel and go wash your hands?

I seem to be the only person on Earth who can't stand Spongebob Squarepants.

3. If you personally were going to be written in as a new character in an animated show what show would it be and how would you get along with the existing characters?

Well, The Simpsons is a hotbed for cool celebrities and people on the up-and-up, so I'd probably fit in on a show like The Muppet Babies. I'd be the quiet muppet who secretly steals all the toys and gets the other, dumber muppets to do bad things for me. My character would also hang out with Animal and tell Officer Dan to fuck off.

Bonus Question for Comments: Who is the sexiest animated character of all time and why?

Kermit the Frog, Gonzo, and Animal. Daffy Duck's pretty good looking, too. For a duck. But if your looking for the animated human variety, I'd say Tetsuo from Akira, circa before he turns into a giant blob.

2003-04-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
In my life I've lived in two houses and two apartments in three countries.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
The "mansion" (highrise apartment in Japan) where I lived as a child with my mom, brother, and grandparents. And of course, the house I live in now is the most comfortable place complete with a big pool(no water, where I smoke) and a jacuzzi(water, where I relax).
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Houses are way nicer if to live in if you've got a family oriented lifestyle, but for single people or young people, apartments may be more suited to them. If I were ready to leave the nest, I'd want a cool little apartment.
4. What's more important, location or price?
location, location, location! Of course I'd never live beyond my means, that's retarded. I don't understand how people can expect to go far in life if they have poor financial logic.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
It would have hard wood floors, white walls, a kitchen with a stove, a clean bathroom, maybe a built-in book case, big windows or lots of little ones, and be within feet of a local metro station, a bar, and a deli, it could be a one bedroom, or just a studio, I don't care either way. I could hang my coat and hat in a place like that for the rest of my life.

2003-04-03T12:19:00.000-08:00

I've been racking my brain trying to design a new site for the new serial novel about ghetto foreigners trying to make it in Tokyo (I'm fucking serious, its not a joke) and I'm getting frustrated. I can't design the site the way it looks on MS Word and for some reason, Front Page isn't working on my PC!!! This is a problem, since I've got it looking pretty nifty so far. I've completed the 1st chapter, which I think is quite funny.
I wish I knew HTML. I don't have a clue and don't have the patience to learn that on top of everything else I'm doing at school right now. I'm really excited about the prospect of a new creative venture that I would be able to share with others who enjoy this site, but Geocities won't fucking let me just copy and paste for some reason. PageBuilder wouldn't be such a cunt to use if it would just let me do that.Yep, that's right. I use PageBuilder! I'm one of those sites that bullshit elitist cliques won't allow into their rings and I'm damned proud of it! Who's got the fucking time to sit there, hurting their eyes with meta-tags and jargon when you could just as easily design a site from scratch using convenient shit like PageBuilder(Well, not so convenient in some respects)? Then again, there are many beautifully designed pages out there that just blow you the fuck away and it's cool and all, but that's not what I'm shooting for. No, what I'm shooting for is a simple site courtesy of Geocities that would let me copy and motherfucking paste!!!

fin.

2003-04-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. I've been busy with mid-terms for school and all. I've also started working on a serial novel . I won't go into anymore detail about it, except to say that I think I've found my voice as a writer, or at least I've got a better sense of my own writing style. It's very different from my "blog" voice and is laden with four-letter words for a woman's reproductive "cavity". When I'm done with the first chapter, I might put it up on a seperate site, dedicated to my writings, but for the time being, I'm just going to concentrate on this and some stupid city council meeting I have to write an article about for my journalism class. I really don't want to write hard news; I'd much rather get into publishing, copyediting, or maybe even public relations, but I guess you've got to get past the necessary courses to complete the requirements for the proper degree.
Peter Jennings never even went to college (I think he was a highschool drop-out). That's something to think about. Must be something in the water up in Canada.

2003-03-30T11:58:00.000-08:00

This week's sunday roast.

A) *what is your favourite trip to the hairdressers ?

I have not been to the hairdressers since I was 14 years old, when I got my hair cut from shoulder length, to look like Linda Evangelista, then cut it all off into short spikes. Everyone referred to my new style as "Concentration Camp Chic." I liked the way I cut my own hair and from then on, I did everything myself. Now I'm letting it all grow long again.

B) *what did you get done ? why was it good ?

I got my hair cut short, then I cut it shorter. Obviously, I didn't like it too much if I fiddled with it on my own.

C) *what is your worst trip to the hairdressers ?

I don't recall.

D) * what did you get done ? why was it bad ?

don't recall.

2003-03-29T13:42:00.000-08:00

I baked this divine concoction last night. Cream Cheese Pound Cake. Ahhh, it tastes as good as it sounds. It was by far the most time consuming recipe I've tried thus far.

1 pack of cream cheese
1 1/2 cups butter or margarine
4 eggs, separated
1 1/4 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 tspn vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 tspn salt
1/4 tspn baking powder

1. Preheat oven to 350 deg. F(175 deg. C). Grease and flour a bundt pan (about 9 to 10 inches for this recipe). sift together flour, baking powder and salt. set aside.

2. In a large bowl, cream together cheesem butter, and sugar until light and fluffy. then beat in the egg yolks one at a time. Beat in the vanilla, then the flour mixture.

3. Now in a glass or metal bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff, firm peaks that look like meringue form. Fold 1/3 of the egg whites into the batter, then quickly fold the remaining whites into the batter until there are no streaks. Pour into Bundt pan.

4. Bake at 350 F(175C) for about 45-50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Then let it sit and cool off. Devour with lots of friends and family and eat small slices 'cos this shit's rich!

2003-03-27T16:41:00.000-08:00

so i'm taking the written driving test on the 8th of April so I can get some hands-on driving practice on our way to Vegas. I want to practice on the desert road. I have never been behind the wheel of a car. never. I've never even wanted to, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

2003-03-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

i believe that a country is only as good as its people. not its government but its people.

2003-03-23T14:03:00.000-08:00

hmmm...can't think of anything relevant to say, so i'll just recap what i've heard on the us news.
1. the us and britain will take "profits" from iraqi oil wells and use them to pay for med supplies, food, and various aid. i guess "forced freedom and liberation doesn't come cheap. it's like being forced to pay for a christmas give you don't want nor ever asked for from a person you despise. the truth of the matter is, bush and blair and all their cronies will steal the oil from the iraqis like they've done in the past. they will also gladly take money from the japanese, who so kindly and generously and stupidly offered to fork over upward of 100 million bucks for "reconstruction".

2. us and british troops are dying NOT from iraqi fire, but "accidentally". apparently, some military plane "got lost" in the desert at night. bullshit. but then again, according to the us military, EVERY coalition casualty is a result of either friendly fire or some crazy accident.

3. bush is in camp david. and he's been making radio addresses. he thinks himself a Winston Churchill or F.D.Roosevelt.

2003-03-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

This is an interesting, disheartening little article. Don't worry, there's no blood or guts in this one. I promise.

2003-03-20T10:20:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from a blog in Iraq...

Do you know when the sight of women veiled from top to bottom became common in cities in Iraq? Do you know when the question of segregation between boys and girls became red hot? When tribal law replaced THE LAW? When Wahabi became part of our vocabulary?
It only happened after the Gulf War. I think it was Cheney or Albright who said they will bomb Iraq back to the stone age, well you did. Iraqis have never accepted religious extremism in their lives. They still don’t. Wahabis in their short dishdasha are still looked upon as sheep who have strayed from the herd. But they are spreading. The combination of poverty/no work/low self esteem and the bitterness of seeing people who rose to riches and power without any real merit but having the right family name or connection shook the whole social fabric. Situations which would have been unacceptable in the past are being tolerated today.
They call it “al hamla al imania – the religious campaign” of course it was supported by the government, pumping them with words like “poor in this life, rich in heaven” kept the people quiet. Or the other side of the coin is getting paid by Wahabi organizations. Come pray and get paid, no joke, dead serious. If the government can’t give you a job run to the nearest mosque and they will pay and support you. This never happened before, it is outrageous. But what are people supposed to do? thir government is denied funds to pay proper wages and what they get is funneled into their pockets. So please stop telling me about the fundis, never knew what they are never would have seen them in my streets.

-here is the link to the blog. I believe the author's name is Salam Pax.

2003-03-19T20:09:00.000-08:00

People need to see this. NOW.

2003-03-19T15:01:00.000-08:00

I was listening to two people argue about the impending (or already started) war in Iraq and I swear I almost had a heart attack. My right arn started going numb and everything. Politics does that to me. Especially when it involves war and stupidity. I mean, c'mon! Bombs will be dropped and innocent lives taken and all the network news stations seem to care about is whether or not the Oscars will go on and the state of college basketball! It's enough to give any sane person a fit. On top of it all, a woman came up to me at the bus stop, a Jehovah's Witness. I sat there, listening to some of what she had to say; she didn't really give me a choice and I was trying to be polite, and she was pretty much telling me what I expect most religious recruiters say to convert people, which I don't have a problem with. I know what I believe and that won't change with one 10 minute, one-sided conversation. What made me tune out was when she started badmouthing Catholics. I am not Catholic, but I have always been annoyed with people who put down other people's religion. The things she was saying were really offensive too. "Catholics, all they do is commit crimes and start wars..." Whatever. Thankfully, the bus arrived and I quickly made my escape.
Truthfully though, some of the things she said about life in general made sense, but that's the problem with any religion: only some of it ever makes any sense.It's like philosophy; it all depends on how the person interperets it in their own minds.

It's a sad thing, really, but I'm so paranoid about the Bush Administration that I am afraid to type my honest opinions on my blog. I don't know who is watching and I wouldn't put it past this government to make a list of all the citizens who express opposing views. Look at all the talk of blacklists. Bush's old man was head of the CIA for crying out loud. I just don't trust these people. But I really shouldn't worry, I mean who reads my blog, anyway?

2003-03-16T14:14:00.000-08:00

List of things I'm going to do the next time I'm in Japan:

1. go on the Yurikamome monorail and visit Decks.(I never did that because I have this thing about never wanting to do touristy stuff, especially in Japan, but then I always miss out on the experience and end up regretting not having done things)

2. take pictures of alleys and things even if it is awkward and embarassing at times.

3. eat at cafes and stuff more often (when I go to Tokyo, I always end up going alone so I am self conscious about eating out by myself)

4. Go to museums and stuff.(get cultured, for the love of God! It's been ages since I've been to a good, sterilized museum.)

Of course people watching is always fun, but this time around, I want to be a tourist. Even if that means snapping a camera all day long and looking lost. But sorry, I have to draw the line at khaki shorts and baseball caps.

2003-03-14T14:54:00.000-08:00

I hate loud noises but I love loud music the crescendo of crashing symbols floor toms and violins the jumping of piano keys. I dropped the lid of a tin can today; it bounced off the countertop and onto the floor the cling-clang rattled my eardrums. I could have caught it but I stood there with my arms folded up to my chest, hands in fists over my heart and my mouth screaming in a silent “O”.
William Faulkner makes you want to write long nonsense that never ends. Green tea prevents cancer and salmon keeps the wrinkles away. I look like shit but my eyebrows are plucked.

2003-03-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

My, my, I have been neglecting you for a while now haven't I? Well, it's been a busy week. I bought the soundtrack to the movie Chicago. I love the Cell Block Tango! Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Sicero! Lipschitz!
Anyway... I talked to a friend who is having an affair with some guy I don't know. She's married with a 3 year old son. Now I consider myself pretty square when it comes to - ahem - s-e-x, so I asked her if she felt guilty at all. She said no, it's completely justified, I was married to young, blahblahblah. So then I asked her if she would feel the same way if it was her mother having an affair on her father or vice versa. She said that was of course out of the question. Apparently, it's just different.
Hmmm...I saw someone on the bus yesterday. The type of person who collects saliva bubbles in the corners of their mouth then spits them out randomly while pronouncing certain words so that a person is too afraid to stand close to them while they're talking.
Another guy had a gut that started at his waist and ended mid-thigh. He was talking about going to Taco Bell and how he might have diabetes then he shook his dandruf-speckled head and changed the subject.
I should go now.

2003-02-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

[2/28/2003 11:56:36 AM | Mayumi Abril-Mitsuhashi]
1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?

novels, mostly classic, but I also like to read a good and juicy contemporary work as well. Especially if it's by Irvine Welsh or Tom Wolfe

2. What is your favorite novel?

This is gonna sound so cliche, but The first time I read Crime and Punishment, I was too young to fully comprehend the gravity of it, I really just wanted to be able to say, "yeah, I've read Dostoevsky, aren't I smart?" but having read it again, I found I was deeply affected by it. I also got the same feeling from Tom Wolfe's A Man in Full and Irvine Welsh's Glue.

3. Do you have a favorite poem? (Share it!)

Howl, by Ginsberg if it were but a bit shorter. Any bit of poetry and prose that reflects upon the junkies and low lifes really get to my core.

4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?
The Bible. Everyone knocks it or has something to say about it, but I'll bet few people have actually read it the whole way through. But I'll tell you, the book would be a much easier read if it had pictures!

5. What are you currently reading?

I'm re-reading Franz Kafka's The Trial. I'm trying to re-read a lot of books I've read so that I a can compare my understanding of those books from when I was younger. I'll do this again in 10 years or so.

2003-02-20T10:45:00.000-08:00

I spent the better half of an entire day watching the Two Towers. I was making copies from the DVD on Tape for my cousin and some friends in Japan who are big fans. Turns out my cousins already seen it, but it's still a nice gesture, I think. I'm all Rung out, but no matter how many times I watch the epic, my heart still skips a beat during the battle scene at Helm's Deep, Oh! and the tree hearders kicking orc-ass at Isengaard is timeless as well.
It hink I'll rent Buffalo 66 and Igby Goes Down or something to get my head out of the other-worldly fantasy mode.

2003-02-18T13:13:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how desensitised I've become. I don't even get upset about the news anymore. Whenever I a negetive emtion rising within me, I supress it by telling myself there's nothing to be done, nothing can be done, let it go, but you know what? It sucks forgetting how to feel things. It sucks not allowing yourself to care about things that matter. Apathy is the cancer of our society, don't you think? Well, it is. People have, over a long period of time, had all the humanity beaten out of them. It is so disheartening to realize that all the effort, all the heartfelt protest, all the angry letters and passionate pleas for a better world fall on deaf ears. So you get tired of being burned by the world and you develop calluses for protection. I guess this is what happens when you get older. It's a sign of age. Thank goodness there are always going to be young naive people out there keep the flames of humanity going. I'm done.

2003-02-16T11:16:00.000-08:00

I keep a written journal of the life of my alter ego. She's a Columbia grad and she's gorgeous and successful and has a boyfriend and is great with people. Everyone loves her and she's dutiful and warm and all the things I wish I could be. Heck, she's even half an inch taller than I am and wears nice clothes.
It's kind of therapeutic to get this schizophrenia down on paper instead of acting it out in my mind. It also helps me to see that such a person does not and could not exist. Ever. Not in anyone. So I suppose I'm getting more comfortable with my shortcomings, like not getting into my university of choice and not being an inch taller and whatnot.

2003-02-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

1. Explain why you started to journal/blog.
It was faster and easier on my hands than writing it out on paper

2. Do people you interact with day to day or family members know about your journal/blog? Why or why not?
No because I don't exactly want people I know to read this. It makes me want to censor myself, not that there's much to censor, but it takes some of the fun out.

3. Do you have a theme for your journal/blog?
Not really.

4. What direction would you like to have your journal/blog go in over the next year?
Direction? I guess whatever direction I'm going in.

5. Pimp five of your favorite journals/blogs.
Japanish
jjcha
cerebral soup
tokyo tidbits
greggman.com

2003-02-14T11:51:00.000-08:00

It rained for two days. I think it's good, even though my feet got wet. People in LA just can't seem to stop complaining about the weather. When the rest of the country is frozen solid, we're all nice and toasty, but we still complain that there's not enough rain and it's too dry. When the rain finally comes, we complain that it's too much and it's dreary and "we want our sun." But that's LA for you. Filled will beautiful, nicely tanned, spoiled rotten brats.

2003-02-13T11:31:00.000-08:00

LA hasn't been hit by a big earthquake in decades and I'm beginning to think this whole "big one" thing is all just a load of hog-wash. Come on fault-lines! What's the hold up? Not that I want to be swallowed up by the earth, but the suspense is killing me!
Now there's talk of some tenth planet that orbits around the sun and some moon that's on a collision course with our beloved third rock and we'll all be dead in May.
But don't take my word for it. go to Zetatalk and try to figure it out. Don't be put off by the little-green-man logo. I'm sure they're running a tight ship over there. The good news about the end of the world in May? No one has to pay taxes! YEAH!!! Bush will probably blame this all on Iraq.

2003-02-10T16:29:00.000-08:00

E-mails I got today:

100% free amateur girls!
Bicklechick- enlarge your penis! (I haven't got one, but everyone knows it's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean)
Mortgage Reduction (I still live with my mother and the house is paid off)
Word of the Day from Dictionary.com

I also get misleading threads from girls named Trish, Kelly, and Jane that read:
Hey girl, haven't talked to you in a while!

I've learned to ignore them as they are always annoying adverts for uninspired porn sites.

2003-02-09T12:30:00.000-08:00

What's the most popular mobile phone in Japan? Is it J-Phone, DoCoMo, Au? If anyone knows or has an opinion about this, let me know.

2003-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

I met some folks Friday who have the combined IQ of -1. When I said I was born in Japan, one of them busted out with, "Where in China is that?" only she triend to sound so intelligent while she said it. Another one asked if it was true that the japanese eat cats and dogs. I said, " sure, and we all ride around in rickshaws too". But seriously, these people were uneducated in the worst possible way. I thought it was all some sick, racist joke at first, but after spending a few minutes listening to their conversations and factoring in their living environment, I had to conclude that they were the type of people who are born in the same town that they die in and don't care about anything outside of their livingroom couch. Granted, it was only two people out of the many who were at the wedding reception, and the food and drink were flowing. My friend and other guests seemed genuinely embarrassed by them as well. And no, they weren't lowlifes or trashy or anything, they just seemed to have other interests, like watching TV and eating microwave burritos.

When I was in elementary school and throughout Junior High, I'd get asked those same stupid questions about Japan. Mostly it was kids who thought Japan was a city in China. Some kids thought every asian coutry was in fact a city in China. I wonder if they've beefed up the geography programs in public schools yet. I don't recall ever learning geography in depth in primary school, but my mother taught me all that stuff at home. She'd always bitch about the schools here not being up to par, but she was right. Still is.
Math is the worst though. I used to hate it when teachers wouldn't let me do the work the way I understood it, even though I got the answers right. It was always their way or nothing and way was bullshit.
Note to self: Never go back to Barstow. Even if you've been invited to a friend's wedding.

2003-02-03T15:11:00.000-08:00

came across an interesting, if not disturbing article in Rolling Stone about the growing internet subculture of gay men who want to be infected with HIV. They seek out those infected and solicit unprotected sex, calling it being "inducted into the brotherhood" or "bred." It is seen as freedom from the constant worry of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Of course the gay community in general wants no part of this small portion of the gay population and I don't think it's safe to lump them together because they share the same preferrence in gender. People who would go to such lengths to slowly kill themselves and even derive pleasure in doing so can only be viewed as sexual deviants regardless of their gender preferrence. There are websites devoted to this subculture which I will not link to on my blog for obvious reasons- mainly because I refuse to condone or advertise the behavior.
Just thought I'd post something interesting I read today.

2003-02-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

My mom saw About Schmidt last night. said it was good. I like Alexander Payne. Election was hilarious. Why hasn't Reese Witherspoon been in anything good lately, instead of all those cheap Julia Roberts knock-offs she's been churning out for the past few years now. What movies am I getting excited about? The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions sounds good. I saw the Superbowl ad. Very slick. Something about a keymaker and lots of samurai-style sword fighting.

2003-02-01T23:06:00.000-08:00

there is so much inside. so much I want to disclose. I am wastin away within my skull. I need someone to ask me , " what's that you've got in there, Mayumi Abril" whats that you've been hiding from the rest of the world....

2003-02-01T22:46:00.000-08:00

i am an alchoholic. I am also a bulimic. I throw up all the food I have eaten so as to not gain any weight. I have done this since I was 18 years old. I am now 21. I have been trying to end this disgusting disease of mine for years now to no avail. I need help. I know it. but help costs money which I do not have. At any rate, I seem to be making progress of my own accord. Fuck doctors. Fuck Psychiatrists. I know what goes on inside my own head. I just thought it might help me to bring this out into the open. What dirty laundry people have. We should all do a collective wash sometime.

2003-02-01T17:12:00.000-08:00

It has happened. The heavens are smiling down upon me for I have gotten hold of a DVD copy of The Two Towers in mint condition. It's not one of those cheap-ass bootlegs either. It's uncut and says on the bottom of the screen ' for your consideration'. I'm thinking this is a copy that was sent for awards consideration. Maybe the SAG awards or something. I got it from a friend of my brother's and whether he has any ties to the entertainment industry, I haven't the slightest clue. Jealous? You should be.

2003-01-30T18:41:00.000-08:00

soemthing I miss about Japan at his very moment:
laying down on my futon after it's been airing out in the sun all day.
that's a great feeling.

now i feel heavy, like concrete. i feel the weight of gravity pulling me down today. maybe i should drink some orange juice and take a vitamin.

2003-01-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am falling in love with Raskolnikov. This is not something new; I tend to fall for fictitious characters. Take, for instance, my flash-in-the-pan infatuation with As I Lay Dying's Jewel. I had him on the mind for months before finally coming to the realization that all my pining was a lost cause.
And would you believe it, now I am falling into a deep depression for I know what fate awaits the current object of my affection. Ahhh but he isn't real. Only a figment of Dostoyevsky's brilliant imagination.

Some creep sat opposite me in the library today. I was busy looking up potential internships and scholarships, keeping quite busy and to myself, when he he wrote some sort of "poem" about porn and growing a horn and showed it to me. Why he did this, I really couldn't tell you. I shrugged and muttered something to the effect of, "you want a fuckin' prize, genius?" and went back to work. He sat there for a while, silently trying to get my attention or get a rise out of me for whatever reason until he got bored and left. I didn't know him, never saw him before, but that was a strange little scenario. It didn't bother me at all which is what I am most astonished by. I guess I've grown a thicker skin. It's something I've been noticing these past few months. When I'm in public, my face, which would normally be described as warm and friendly with a roundish shape, turns hard and angular. I walk at a ridiculously fast pace with a contemptuous scowl on my face which I try to check when I can. I wonder what's eating me. Note to self: find out what's got me so bitter these days and nip it in the bud.

2003-01-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

YAY! It's official; my family will come to visit this summer. It'll be my cousin Masumi's first trip overseas. She will be accompanied by my uncle Masakatsu and my Grandmother. Of course we'll be taking lots of road trips to Vegas and the Grand Canyon (gotta show 'em the Grand Canyon) and all that, but what I'm worried about is how Masumi will adjust to the shower situation. Our house has two bathrooms, and none of them are anywhere near as big and relaxing as a japanese bath. Another concern I have is food. My uncle is very particular about good food. He's used to eating well and knows all the good restaurants in Tokyo and all that, but my mother and I have been brainstorming, trying to come up with the names of some good LA eateries. So far, we've conjured up a list of eight or nine places.
If all else fails, I can always bake a batch of chewy oatmeal-raisin cookies. That, and a loaf of banana bread. So much for a balanced diet.
A pair of brothers killed their mother, chopped off her head and hands and dumped her body over a hillside. Said they were influenced by a 'Sopranos' episode - the one where Ralphie gets whacked. Kids today...

2003-01-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

So I was watching the news last night and the anchorman actually said, "...the Bush administration will allow UN weapons inspectors to continue their search in Iraq. ALLOW. Does anyone else see the madness in all this?

Found the best recipe for chewy oatmeal raisin cookies today. I've been obsessed with baking the perfect oatmeal raisin cookie since I baked my first hard batch at age 13. I can never seem to refrain from overbaking.

2003-01-24T14:27:00.000-08:00

I tried to donate blood today. This was my third time trying unsuccessfully to give the gift of life. They found a vein, but couldn't draw any blood from it. After sticking me several times and letting me lay down for a while (I saw Titanic the whole way through for the first time) the nurse came back to find the blood bag less than a quarter full. On top of it all, I didn't know my blood type. My mother's an O and my father's an A so I could go either way. I don't know. Why won't veins fork over some blood for charity? This happened twice in highschool. I swear, I'm getting tired of having to say, "No, I don't do drugs" to the people at the Red Cross. Perhaps I ought to drink more water.

2003-01-21T13:39:00.000-08:00

I've been putting off buying this textbook for one of my classes but now I'll have to fork over the cash. It's 91 fucking dollars for a book I won't need after this semester's through. Damn it! On top of it all, they're going to raise tuition by god knows how much. How the hell did California fall into so much debt? And why are they taking it out on education? Why not cut the military budget or cut the salries of senators and governors since they're the jerk-wads that got us into this mess in the first place. Or how about this crazy little idea-- raise taxes for the rich instead of the working class. Now I'm spewing rhetoric all over the place; where's that napkin?

2003-01-15T15:50:00.000-08:00

Another example of Fox Television's quality progamming.
132 pound world record holder for hotdog eating, Takeru Kobayashi (132 pounds), faces off against a 1,000 pound Kodiak bear. Who can scarf down the most hotdogs? This one's a battle for the ages.

2003-01-11T12:01:00.000-08:00

Looks like writing angry letters really can get things done!

2003-01-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

When I woke this morning, I looked out my bedroom window down the street and for a fraction of a second I honestly believed my eyes caught a glimpse of a lion roaming freely in my neighborhood. It was actually just one of those really fluffy chow-chow dogs.

2003-01-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

Why do I keep recieving spam mail from "legitimate businessmen" in Ghana who want permission to use my bank account? I get the same letters in my e-mail box periodically and it really tries my nerves. Do they, whomever they are, honestly believe people are THAT stupid?

2003-01-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

there is a japanese term used to describe something that i've been meaning to do for ages. it's called 'kejime'. it means something along the lines of being routinized, but in a good way, like being organized and structured. i've taken to making my bed every morning and doing what housework needs to be done befor mom gets home from work. i've even started taking better care of my health. Kejime tsuketeru. That's me. I am kejime. i hope i can keep up this compartmentalization of my life throughout the year.

2003-01-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

felt the sudden urge of check off something on my to-do list while I conduct research for my next paper. This one's on japanese women's roles in the workplace; corporate settings in particular. Hopefully, within the past few years there have been some advances. My mother met a pharmaceutical technician on a plane once who said that she and her female colleagues had to come in an hour earlier than their male counterparts each day to clean up. Here are these educated, pedigreed women reduced to emptying ashtrays and making coffee-- it seems like a joke. I wonder how different life would be like for my mom if she were to live and work in Japan. Here in the states, my mother holds a pretty high position in a well-known US corporation and is treated not as a member of a specific gender, but as a company worker (which has it's own pitfalls). She also is a single mother and has been since I was six years old. In Japan, this would be damn near impossible. The contrast to me is startling. There's much I don't understand about my birthplace.

I'm a weapon's inspector.

2003-01-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

More troops are being deployed in the Persian Gulf, more people are losing their jobs and their livelihood, more tax cuts are being promised to the rich and more money is being taken from the poor and working classes, more nonsense in America thanks to Bush and Co.
This is not the greatest of starts to a brand new year, but if you're like me, you're looking at it not as the beginning of 2003, but the middle of what could very well be six more years of republican bullshit, with Bush and his pubic hairs at the helm. The more I see his face, the more it resembles a lump of shit- the kind that clogs your toilet.
Been reading 'Porno' and re-reading 'Crime and Punishment'. I'm bent on reacquainting myself with the classics of world literature. It's high time I stopped watching Entertainment Tonight and started getting back to my old, studious self. I'm certainly going to miss calling myself a student; being associated with a distinguished institute of higher learning, but I must remind myself that life isn't all brand names and pedigrees, it's about....a host of other things as well.

2002-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

It's time for resolutions. This will be my inaugural year as I've never bothered with any of it before.

Inaugural Resolution: Quit Smoking for Good (I'm currently back on the wagon-Day 9 so far)
Resolution #2: Read more often (Stopped reading as much in the last few months, though I have bought more books)
Resolution #3: Submit articles to on-line publications (Never done this, though I've been meaning to)

Can anyone give me some advice on obtaining a journalist visa in Japan?

2002-12-30T09:57:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. This year, I'm spending time with my immediate family, i.e mom and Carlos, my older brother who may already have plans to celebrate elsewhere. His birthday is New Year's Day. We're having tempura and booze. We couldn't make it to the japanese market, so amakuchi sake is out of the question this year (shoot!), but I'm hoping the local super carries Asahi beer. Nothing beats super dry in my book. Mom isn't much of a drinker as she's tiny enough to put in a carry on suitcase; she gets a headchange off of half a cup of beer but seeing as how it's New Year's and all, she's agreed to throw back at least one glass of bubbly.

Hmmm...I hear there's a petition in Japan right now to improve the accuracy of japanese subtitles in American movies, namely Lord of the Rings. There's some controversy over the translation. Apparently, japanese fans are getting inaccurate translations in the subtitles. There's an english website here

2002-12-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

Finally went christmas shopping today. I know it's a little late, but the malls were crowded nonetheless. Those boots I've been trying to track down don't exist in a size 5, so my mom settled for a nice Coach shoulder bag. It set me back, but I did manage to pick up a couple CD's (The Datsuns and The Von Bondies) along with Irvine Welsh's new book, 'Porno'. Looking forward to reading that one.
It's nice to get a breath of fresh air and be among people...sometimes. Since winter break began, I've pretty much stayed in, sleeping, sitting, brushing up on my couch potato skills, so it's nice that I actually got dressed and brushed my hair today. I looked almost halfway decent.

2002-12-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

I've just updated my site which gives me the sensation of having just taken nice hot bath after a long camping trip. I feel clean.